They’re heeeere…

They're heeeere...
They’re heeeere…

Yes, I’m talking about the NaNoWriMo haters. I’ve already seen the moaners, the whingers, and the blissfully ignorant laughing and pointing their fingers. “HA HA HA HA, writing? You don’t know what writing is!” Half of them say “You should be writing every month!” and the other half are saying “50,000 words in 30 days? Your work is going to be shit!”

First things first, yes I can see when people speak exclamation marks. OMGWTFBBQ!

Secondly – up yours.

I never understood why someone who thought NaNoWriMo was such a waste of time would ironically waste a shed load of time informing the rest of us what a waste of time it all was.

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually, from a non-linear non-subjective viewpoint, it’s more like a big bowl of wibbly wobbly timey wimey… stuff.

I am not wasting my time – I’ll have words by the end of the month. A large pile of words in fact, and as a writer I find words particularly useful.

And I do write every month of the year. There have been non-November months where I’ve written more than 50k…dun dun duuuun.

Not many of the people taking part in NaNoWriMo are running in circles screaming “Look at me, look at me, I’m writing soooo much.” Ok, admittedly some of them are, but most of us are just celebrating the fact that we all come together once a year to achieve a common goal.

It’s supposed to be fun – it’s not our business month, or the one time a year we get all of the literary ambition out of our systems. It’s just a crazy, friend-filled month where we get to meet up with like-minded people and let our hair down. We can discuss books and writing without people’s eye glazing over; we can sit hunched over for hours on end scribbling away and tapping at keyboards without anyone suggesting we stop for some food or a pee break; we can get emotional at the death of beloved characters with people who will hug us rather than berate us for being so connected with mere words on the page.

We can be writers.

And yes, of course the 50,000 words I write during November will be a piece of shit. But not because I’m writing fast or cramming too many words into too little time.

Seriously, 1,667 words a day? It’s less than an hour’s work! If you think that’s too much daily output then you’re the one that doesn’t know anything about writing.

But even that’s bollocks – there is no such thing as a daily word count that makes sense. 20,000 words…no words…it’s all gravy. You do what you have to do, what you are capable of doing. The point of NaNo is to throw caution to the wind and to force you to have a larger daily word count ON AVERAGE.

It’s a first draft, people. Hell, it’s draft zero – I don’t even want to count this thing as a first run at my novel because I’m a pantser (and usually drunk for most of November), so this is just words on a page that mean I don’t have to stare into the abyss of the white page when I get down to the real work of completing my novel.

To the NaNo haters (not that you’ll have read this far): Please stop annoying my friends, and myself, by dismissing something we enjoy with a wave of your hand. You probably enjoy football, or the X Factor, or Yoga…things I find equally perplexing. If you don’t like it, then do us both a favour and ignore it…silently.

To the NaNo lovers: You are all legends, whether you make it to 50k or not. You might hit 100k, you might only scrape into triple figures – it doesn’t matter. You tried, you persevered.

You nanoed!

4 thoughts on “They’re heeeere…

  • October 17, 2013 at 23:34

    I’m not doing NaNo this year. I don’t hate it, I’m just not doing it this time.

    btw, I can’t do 1,667 words in an hour, even of the roughest draft.

    • October 18, 2013 at 09:40

      When we have ‘word wars’ at the meets (all write for ten/fifteen minutes to see who can get highest count) I average about 500-600. I just assumed other people were getting around the same. My bad.

    • October 18, 2013 at 14:45

      Eep! That sounds harder than NaNoWriMo to me!


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