The clock is ticking…

On Sunday 20th July, I will turn thirty.

Is it a gulp moment, or a woo hoo moment? Neither to be honest.

Being the youngest out of most of my friends (even if by only a few days), I’ve seen a lot of people hit the big three-oh lately and they’ve all reacted differently. Some have been mortified at the fact, and attempted to hold on to their “youth” by drinking Jägerbombs until their livers explode. Others have been beyond thrilled about surviving as long as they have and have shouted it from the (Facebook) roof tops, grinning like idiots and insisting everything is super, super, super (smug bastards). Even more still have attempted bucket lists, a commendable achievement but perhaps start a little earlier than a week before the event?

I am indifferent.

I’m not happy, I’m not sad, and I’m not scared.

Too many friends have labelled themselves failures if they haven’t achieved ‘something’ by the time they wave goodbye to their twenties. I have to call bullshit on that. If you’re going to top yourself after you’ve blown your candles out then fairy snuff, carry on and call yourself a failure. A soon to be snuffed out failure. But if you intend to go on living (even if it means having to suffer your birthday hangover), then how the hell are you a failure?

You can only fail if you stop trying. And whilst I admit I am not the sprightly, nimble teenager I once was, there’s enough life left in me to keep on trying (if someone says ‘just keep swimming’ I WILL hurt you).

If you’re going to be all prophetic about hitting a certain age then use it as a starting point, not an ending. Don’t have a bucket list of things to do before you hit thirty, have a never-ending list of things to do before you’re worm food. Or fire fuel, whatever your preference is.

So with that in mind, the 20th of July 2014 will be the kick off day for a yearlong project of mine. I can’t give you any details until next year, but trust me; you’ll know when I finish it. I might even call upon a few of you from time to time to help me complete the project. Feel free to say no if you want, but don’t get too upset when I can’t explain the full details to you.

This is a secret project after all…apart from the fact I’ve just announced it to the world…ahem.

The only odd thing about turning thirty is that it seems like an age where you can no longer be coy about what you want to do when you grow up. In my mind I’m still the same ickle Steven from primary school, just a lot taller and a hell of a lot podgier.

So what do I want to do?

I’ll let you know when I grow up.

…or in a year’s time.


I still look like this in my mind!

I still look like this in my mind!


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  1. Cool jumper! Hope the ‘project’ is awesome, I’m sure it will be! 🙂

  2. Love the Ghostbuster jumper – did your mum knit it? Happy birthday for Sunday, and enjoy it in the knowledge that some of us have had more “Big Zero” birthdays than you.

    1. Gran did 🙂 I kinda want a new one for my bday 😀

  3. Time for some kinda de ja vu: Oh where did it all go wrong?!

    At least we know it’s a year long ‘project’ that you’ve been nattering on about recently. I’m still hella curious as to what it actually is though, especially if there’s gonna be other contributors! You’re such a tease!

  4. A tease indeed! Hope you have a fantastic birthday, and that the hangover part isn’t too bad 😉 Have faith in the knowledge that some of us in our forties still don’t know what we want to be when we grow up,and that it’s all okay because parties still happen. Lol. Intrigued about your project – are you the new Batman?

    1. Dammit, it’s supposed to be a secret! But I did say that in my best Batman voice *hint hint*

  5. Yes, much praise for the jumper. Happy birthday for yesterday (you share a birthday with my very own mum, by the way). Batman, eh? Your secret’s out the closet (at least, your Batman pyjamas are — just a guess).

  6. Am liking the jumper.

    I’m 29 this year and am considering not having any more birthdays after that.

    In my mind I’m still 18.

    Happy Belated Birthday!!! 🙂

  7. What’s the project? You can tell me, I won’t tell anyone…

    1. If you pass the three trials, I’ll tell you.

  8. Also, happy freakin’ birthday!

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