Tag: blog

Apr 14

L is for La la la, I’m not listening!

LA LA LA LA!! I’m not listening. I can’t hear you! You can’t tell me what to do! LA LA LA! I can’t hear, but I bet I have an angelic singing voice. *removes hands* (from ears, not from wrists) Are you done? Have you stopped telling me what to do? Good. When it comes …

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Apr 14

K is for Kenophobia

I know, right? Those Ken dolls are creepy as fuck, with their cold, dead eyes and their cold, dead hair, and their cold…oh wait, that’s not what kenophobia is? *consults dictionary* Oh…ohhhh! That’s better for this post anyway – I don’t know how much I could have written about Ken dolls without breaking down petrified …

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Apr 11

J is for Jazz hands

When was the last time you recommended a book by saying any of the following? . “Boy, the grammar was spot on – what a read!” “Most of the dialogue was just like real life.” “There were literally no plot holes – I totally believe that situation, or something very similar and just as cohesive, …

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Apr 10

I is for Indecent exposure

They say any exposure is good exposure. Try telling that to the dude who carved his novel, chapter by chapter, into those dead  hooker’s chests *is handed urgent note* he sold HOW many copies?! NOTE TO SELF: Find some hookers – preferably already dead to avoid wet work. Who they are isn’t quite clear and …

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Apr 09

H is for Hnnnngghh!

Sometimes…*hnng*…you…*squeeze*…have…*eee*…to…*fuckfuckfuck*…force…*pinch*…words…*eep*…out! *plop* Ahhhhhhhh – that’s better. There are days when the words do not want to come out. At all. But that’s no excuse not to try. You might feel more bunged up than a fat man with a cheese fetish, but if you don’t try then you have zero chance of pooping words onto …

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