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Oct 05

Real men take literature to the toilet…

…and yes, ‘male-interest’ magazines count, as long as you really are ‘just reading the articles’.

Here’s the science bit: If a normal person spends up to 10 minutes a day on the toilet, then for an average lifespan of 79.4 years you spend 201.3 days stuck on the crapper! Think of the reading time that gives you!!

Over the centuries men and women have often been set apart by certain boundaries; women can’t fold maps, and men can’t get interested in headboards. While the occasional man may break the standards and start thinking in more than 16 colours or a random woman may suddenly take interest in sub woofers, reading on the toilet still remains man territory…’real man’ territory.

What looks like a simple task from the outside is actually quite a complex activity, which has been perfected by men over the years. Many considerations have to be made when plopping with a page-turner:

  • Most toilets don’t have reading tables, which limits the reading space to your hands, your lap or for extra flexible people – the floor.
  • Try to pick something that’s comfortable to hold and offers a large enough print so you won’t strain your eyes.
  • When choosing what material to read, try and pick something that interests you but won’t draw you in so much that you end up with leg cramps.

Whatever you read, remember to enjoy the peace and quiet of a truly manly activity and keep in mind that you are a ‘real man’ because only real mean take literature to the toilet.

So grab that book/magazine, drop trou’ and squeeze one out for the team! While you’re in there why not knock up a couple of bookshelves or a magazine rack?

2 comments

  1. Ellie

    You do make me laugh Steve because you're right! When I go to the toilet it is for the minimum amount of time required. My partner can spend hours.

    Shaking my head. I can't believe I'm talking about my toilet habits. LOL.

  2. Lee Hughes

    lol if reading in the shitter is good enough for Al Bundy, it's good enough for me.

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