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Apr 14

L is for La la la, I’m not listening!

LA LA LA LA!! I’m not listening. I can’t hear you! You can’t tell me what to do! LA LA LA! I can’t hear, but I bet I have an angelic singing voice.

*removes hands*

(from ears, not from wrists)

Are you done? Have you stopped telling me what to do?

Good.

When it comes to writing advice, I only have one thing to…*snicker* Ahh, I couldn’t finish that…I talk bollocks allllll the time about writing! I like to label it advice but really it’s my own crappy opinions – it could barely even be called my own experiences since I never seem to learn anything. Ever.

I don’t have one thing to say about writing – I have a million. And at least 462,348 pieces of “advice” will be contradictory. The remaining *counts on fingers*……other bits of advice will be horse crap. Not to say that they can’t be contradictory and hors…you get the point – just because I have something to say about writing, doesn’t mean it will be of any use to you at all.

It might help. It might be the best thing you’ve ever read and spur you into getting a six book deal with six figure advance (send my commission 1st class, no cheques please). Or it might just be adequate enough to knock a couple of brain cells into each other and give you an idea that barely resembles the advice I shovelled in your general direction.

Or it might be utter crap.

This is the same for every bit of writing advice you hear.

Every. Single. Bit.

Doesn’t matter if your favourite author said it, or Ghandi said it, or if Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan, and told you if you didn’t take Lorraine out, that he’d melt your brain…wait, what?

All advice is to be taken with a pinch of salt.

Simply take a pinch of salt, and jam it in your ears so you can’t hear anymore.

But don’t forget to listen real hard when the advice is good.

What? How do you know when it’s good advice?

Erm…

Erm…

La la la la!!

La la la la!!

3 comments

  1. susan

    I never read what the “experts” have to say about writing. But I’ll follow you anywhere (except to play dolls)

    1. Steven Chapman

      So I should take off my Barbie nurse outfit? *sulks*

  2. Julianne Snow (@CdnZmbiRytr)

    I think there’s a happy medium between taking it all to heart and dismissing it outright 🙂

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