Happy New Year!

With only a few hours left of 2014, people are starting to list all the negative things about their year, and all the positive things they want to do next year.

And here’s me just getting pissed!

Some are even complaining that others are only attempting to better themselves when the clock strikes midnight at the end of an arbitrary period of time. Well I say what the hell is wrong with that? Who gives a monkeys why or when they want to change? Nowt to bloody do with you, you grumpy sod! And this is coming from Dr Grumpy Sod. I didn’t go through years of hardship at Cynical Twat University to be called Mr Grumpy Sod, thank you very much.

If people want to improve because it’s the done thing, then let them. If they won’t stick to their resolutions, who gives a crap? It’s all about wanting to change for the better, and I don’t think there’s a right way of doing that. If a person feels better about making a promise to themselves as Jools Holland is tinkling away at the ivories then good on them, I hope they succeed.

Personally I haven’t really made any specific resolutions, hell I don’t even have any rough resolutions. All I can promise myself is to try harder.

Try harder at writing, and friendships, and relationships, and work, and fitness, and…fuck…that sounds suspiciously like a list. I made a list! Nooooo!

I can’t say for sure that this is the year I’ll get a novel published, or make besties with Jeff from down the street, or wife someone, or get a promotion, or achieve Adonis like qualities…but I can try.

Of course I’m so useless and lazy at the moment that I won’t have to try very hard to accomplish the accolade of ‘Tried Harder’, but maybe that’s a good thing. It certainly means I’m a lot less likely to ‘fail’.

It will be hard work. There are no montages in real life, no sudden bursts of cheesy 80s music to accompany me pumping iron, working on that secret project, running up the highest staircases, or wooing the ladies. There will be no jump in the air followed by a dramatic pause as I punch the air after reaching my happy ending.

In fact there will be no ending.

Not for a bloody while I hope anyway.

It’s just a year. 365 days to try harder than the last 365 days (365.242 to be exact). I don’t have to reach the pinnacle of success in 8,760 hours (8,765.81 to be exact), I just have to do better than the last 525,600 minutes (525,949 to be exact) of my life.

And then do better the year after that.

And the year after that.

But right now I’m going to sit back with some booze and some food and enjoy the night.

Happy New Year, everyone! And good luck with the next 31,536,000 seconds (31,556,907 to be exact) of your life!

Stop saying I wish, and start saying I will!

Happy New Year, dudes!
Happy New Year, dudes!

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