E is for Elephant cock

Big floppy elephant cock…you there, in the back, stop laughing! And you there, at the front, stop sneering in disgust!

Those are the two emotions I envisage when I imagine myself shouting the words ‘elephant cock’ to a classroom full of writers. Whether you react with disdain or childish giggling, I’m here to tell you you’re not reacting as a writer should. As a writer, when I shout ELEPHANT COCK, you should think “What about an elephant cock? Can I use it in my writing? Is it an acceptable name for a chapter/character/sequel? Is there some way I can include a dangling phallus in my current work in progress?”.

There is no room in writing for embarrassment or fear or shame. Embrace the weird and the wonderful and transcend the childish nonsense of laughing at such silly words. As a writer you must be ready to write about anything and everything – from the disgusting, to the trivial, to the damn right raunchy! You don’t have time to be squeamish or appalled…not when there’s a novel to be written!

So embrace that elephant cock! Grab it by the shaft and don’t hold back!

Now work that elephant cock until something wonderful happens!

Well...you would, wouldn't you?
Well…you would, wouldn’t you?

13 thoughts on “E is for Elephant cock

  • April 6, 2014 at 04:54
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    that was hysterical and right on! I saw the title and was curious – that’s a good thing

    Reply
    • April 6, 2014 at 15:48
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      Everyone is curious about elephant cock 😀

      Reply
  • April 6, 2014 at 07:56
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    Thanks for another great post Steven. I’m guilty of censoring my own work. I think I do it subconsciously. What is in my head is far more graphic than what I allow to spill out on the page. Now, when I edit I will always be thinking about your elephant cock.

    Reply
    • April 6, 2014 at 15:49
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      That’s how rumours get started.

      Reply
  • April 6, 2014 at 10:43
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    Oh, my goodness me. You are right of course. *blushes and backs slowly out of blog*

    Reply
    • April 16, 2014 at 09:42
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      You should have seen me when I first stole found it – the clouds parted and a shaft of light focussed on the screen.

      Reply
    • April 7, 2014 at 15:35
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      Not my fault you’re childish enough to laugh at big floppy elephant cocks! 😛

      Reply

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