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Apr 06

E is for Elephant cock

Big floppy elephant cock…you there, in the back, stop laughing! And you there, at the front, stop sneering in disgust!

Those are the two emotions I envisage when I imagine myself shouting the words ‘elephant cock’ to a classroom full of writers. Whether you react with disdain or childish giggling, I’m here to tell you you’re not reacting as a writer should. As a writer, when I shout ELEPHANT COCK, you should think “What about an elephant cock? Can I use it in my writing? Is it an acceptable name for a chapter/character/sequel? Is there some way I can include a dangling phallus in my current work in progress?”.

There is no room in writing for embarrassment or fear or shame. Embrace the weird and the wonderful and transcend the childish nonsense of laughing at such silly words. As a writer you must be ready to write about anything and everything – from the disgusting, to the trivial, to the damn right raunchy! You don’t have time to be squeamish or appalled…not when there’s a novel to be written!

So embrace that elephant cock! Grab it by the shaft and don’t hold back!

Now work that elephant cock until something wonderful happens!

Well...you would, wouldn't you?

Well…you would, wouldn’t you?

13 comments

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  1. Susan

    that was hysterical and right on! I saw the title and was curious – that’s a good thing

    1. Steven Chapman

      Everyone is curious about elephant cock 😀

  2. dayzieheadmayzie

    I’m only here because of “cock”…

    1. Steven Chapman

      That’s what she said…oh, that IS what she said.

      1. Veronica Sicoe

        LOL

  3. Shaun Adams

    Thanks for another great post Steven. I’m guilty of censoring my own work. I think I do it subconsciously. What is in my head is far more graphic than what I allow to spill out on the page. Now, when I edit I will always be thinking about your elephant cock.

    1. Steven Chapman

      That’s how rumours get started.

  4. Liz Brownlee

    Oh, my goodness me. You are right of course. *blushes and backs slowly out of blog*

  5. Julianne Snow (@CdnZmbiRytr)

    Hilarious! But so true at the same time! If a story demands an element, we cannot be afraid to write it 🙂

  6. Patricia Lynne (@plynne_writes)

    You have made a valid point… but I’m still giggling at that picture.

    ~Patricia Lynne~
    Story Dam
    Patricia Lynne, YA Author

    1. Steven Chapman

      You should have seen me when I first stole found it – the clouds parted and a shaft of light focussed on the screen.

  7. Veronica Sicoe

    Thanks for making me laugh out loud at the office, you bastard.

    1. Steven Chapman

      Not my fault you’re childish enough to laugh at big floppy elephant cocks! 😛

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