Apr 06

E is for ‘Egotistical bastards’

…and also for elephant cock

You see them every day (not elephant cocks, although you might…I’m not judging) – they fester on your FB wall, and taunt on your Twitter feed – the smug faced gits, the egotistical bastards. The writer with an exaggerated sense of their own importance, the one who can’t shut up about themselves – the self-centered twatwaffles (oops, spoiler alert for T’s swear word)…can you tell I’m not a fan?

You know the type, the ones that compare themselves to the greats without being asked:

“Oh, I’m like King if he learnt to reign in his word count *scoff scoff*”

“I’ll be remembered long after mere mortal writers are all dead and forgotten.”

The ones who moan that their novel is only unsuccessful because readers are idiots. It’s not their fault – their genius is misunderstood. Who really needs spellcheck or editors or agents? Second drafts? Pfft, these are all things mere amateurs have to deal with.

Writers like this chap: Writers You Want to Punch in the Face(book)

It’s getting harder and harder to avoid gits like (the thankfully fictional) Todd Manly-Krauss, but not impossible. The next time someone narks you, dump their ass! Unfriend, unfollow, delete, block – don’t give them the attention they crave, you’ll only make them stronger.

Don’t be a sheep – don’t like because others are, or you think it will further your career. Like because you like it…hell, stop the ‘liking’ altogether and have a conversation! Talk to people who actually chat back, not just spam you with statuses about how ‘totes amazeballs’ (see, I’m down with the lingo) they are.

Don’t give the elephant cocks a reason to suck themselves off any more than they already are.

Well…you would, wouldn’t you?

11 comments

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  1. aww but look how happy the elephant looks… 😉

    • subhmohanty on April 6, 2016 at 16:43
    • Reply

    This Todd guy is fictional? I thought he is for real. And it does give a reality check. How does one draw the line between “eagerly wanting to be read and commented on” to “endlessly nag every Tom-Dick-n-Harry about the brilliant post you have written” ? I will be honest, at times I do feel should I be sharing my short story posts on my FB “page” and then re-share it on “my timeline”..just to get two or may be two and a half interested readers? Is it just a validation of our work or is it just plain show-off ? Or is it a mix of both? How would it be if a writer keeps writing but doesnt find anyone to read his/her work? The prospect of that sounds scary, I must admit,for yes, we all write primarily for the “joy” of writing, but isnt the joy quadrupled when someone says how he/she loved it? Or hated it for that matter?
    Guess we will never know. Would love to hear your thoughts, Steven. I may be on the path to insanity !

    @Subhmohanty from
    And Life Unfolds…

    A*Alone B*Butterfly C*Curry D*Dance E*Edge

    1. I think Todd was born from many real people.

      Nothing wrong with publicising your own work – just remember everything in moderation. I know that’s easier said than done because people log on at different times, so writers feel, in order to reach them all, they have to post over and over. I guess you just have to trust if you’re good enough the readers will spread the word for you.

      The best way I’ve found is networking with other writers. In my opinion readers trust a writer plugging another writer more than they do when they’re plugging themselves.

        • subhmohanty on April 6, 2016 at 16:58
        • Reply

        Thank you! and I agree with the part writers plugging other writers. and moderation is key. To each his own at the end of the day, I guess.
        Thanks, will be waiting for your next tomorrow, all the best !

        • subhmohanty on April 7, 2016 at 21:37
        • Reply

        Thanks Steven for your thoughts, moderation is the key, agree with you and makes sense to have other bloggers/writers plugging other writer. Looking forward to read more from you !

    • subhmohanty on April 6, 2016 at 16:52
    • Reply

    By the way, what an absolute apt choice of an image – drives the point spot on !!

  2. ‘likes’ are more out of habit and not because one likes

  3. Great choice of picture! The egotistical ones in my book are those who post “I’m so miserable today” on FB and expect everyone to rush to enquire what’s wrong.

    • Nilanjana Bose on April 7, 2016 at 11:16
    • Reply

    Here from the A-Z and hugely enjoyed your post. Totes amazeballs, to be honest, the forthrightness and the humour. 🙂 Not to mention the image.

    I do know a few people like that on FB, insist on telling me their present amazon rank every morning! Which is always in the top 5 of whatever genre they write in.

    An inspired choice of word for E, kudos!

    Nilanjana
    Ninja Minion, A-Z 2016
    Madly-in-Verse

  4. hahahaha thank you for the amusement… it was well worth the embarassment at being caught at work sneakily looking at a picture of an elephant in an uncompromising position *blushes*

  5. Amen, brother! These are the kind of goofballs who hold forth like experts yet their book covers make kindergartners look like Matisse and their prose is purple to the point of being indigo. Happy A to Z!

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