…and also for elephant cock
You see them every day (not elephant cocks, although you might…I’m not judging) – they fester on your FB wall, and taunt on your Twitter feed – the smug faced gits, the egotistical bastards. The writer with an exaggerated sense of their own importance, the one who can’t shut up about themselves – the self-centered twatwaffles (oops, spoiler alert for T’s swear word)…can you tell I’m not a fan?
You know the type, the ones that compare themselves to the greats without being asked:
“Oh, I’m like King if he learnt to reign in his word count *scoff scoff*”
“I’ll be remembered long after mere mortal writers are all dead and forgotten.”
The ones who moan that their novel is only unsuccessful because readers are idiots. It’s not their fault – their genius is misunderstood. Who really needs spellcheck or editors or agents? Second drafts? Pfft, these are all things mere amateurs have to deal with.
Writers like this chap: Writers You Want to Punch in the Face(book)
It’s getting harder and harder to avoid gits like (the thankfully fictional) Todd Manly-Krauss, but not impossible. The next time someone narks you, dump their ass! Unfriend, unfollow, delete, block – don’t give them the attention they crave, you’ll only make them stronger.
Don’t be a sheep – don’t like because others are, or you think it will further your career. Like because you like it…hell, stop the ‘liking’ altogether and have a conversation! Talk to people who actually chat back, not just spam you with statuses about how ‘totes amazeballs’ (see, I’m down with the lingo) they are.
Don’t give the elephant cocks a reason to suck themselves off any more than they already are.