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Dec 31

I think I can, I think I can…

Oh god, I had no idea it was this bad!

Ten posts…TEN POSTS! That’s all I wrote during 2013…and I’m counting this one!

This won’t do at all.

It’s been a shit year for writing, well a shit year for my writing. It’s probably been at least a semi-productive year for other writers. Not that I want to hear about your successes, it will just make me feel like even more of a failure.

I can count the number of submissions this year on one hand. Jeez – if that don’t just suck the big one.

Something has to change. But I’m perfect in every way…what the hell do I change?

I hate to use the word ‘resolution’ but I figure today of all days that word will be bandied round so much a post without the word will seem strange and mundane by comparison. So I resolve to use it at least once.

The annoying thing about being so negative and self-critical is that you can see exactly what needs changing but you can’t bring yourself to go ahead and make those changes.

I know I need to stop faffing about and write more, I know I need to finish the pile of stories I have without endings, polish those that are finished, attack my ‘to be read’ pile with more gusto, stop trying to live on three hours sleep a night, get rid of all my wobbly bits, stop chugging 20+ cuppas a day, eat like a grown up, dress like a grown up, and change my socks more than once a month…but it’s so haaarrrrrd!

A kick up the arse will do no good. I regularly boot myself in the posterior to no effect. I have epiphanies of life changing magnitude and all the excitement they entail. When I get home from work I WILL change my ways. But that’s usually the middle of the day and the remaining afternoon in the office (and commute home) will sap that energy right out of me.

I think the key is small changes. I know that sounds like a cop out, but fuck it I’ve tried everything else! I figure even if a softly softly catchy monkey approach doesn’t work it will be less painful than the ‘tough love’, ‘cold turkey’, or ‘man up, you big jessie’ approaches that have failed me so far.

So my one ‘resolution’ this year (there I said it!) is to DO MORE.

Do more writing.

Do more growing up.

Do more exercise.

Do more sock changing.

 

SuspendDis2

Happy new year!

3 comments

  1. healthpsychologyconsultancy

    You can do it. SMART goals :) Good luck and Happy New Year!

  2. Guilie

    Nah, you’re not the only one. I’m keeping you company right there at the bottom of the pit where goal-keeping (not the soccer kind) goes to hide its shame. But 2014–now, 2014 is THE year, friend. Yah!

    1. Steven Chapman

      Hell yeah! Wooo, 2014! (or 2015 if I don’t pull my finger out :P )

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