Jul 16

The clock is ticking…

On Sunday 20th July, I will turn thirty. Is it a gulp moment, or a woo hoo moment? Neither to be honest. Being the youngest out of most of my friends (even if by only a few days), I’ve seen a lot of people hit the big three-oh lately and they’ve all reacted differently. Some …

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Jun 09

Life’s a pitch and then you die

I pitched the megapitch this weekend… I’m not scared of the megapitch! Yeah! And then we’ll get up and poo her all over the table cause we’re not afraid of anything are we snotface? Ok, I’m a little scared of the megapitch. It’s a tad larger than my previous attempts and it would mean a …

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Jun 02

I am not a bum…

…I’m a jerk. I don’t think anything can sum up how I feel right now better than this excerpt from the 1979 Steve Martin masterpiece that was ‘The Jerk’: . I don’t need any of this! I don’t need this stuff! And I don’t need you! I don’t need anything! Except this…this ashtray…and that’s the only …

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May 27

Outside bad. Sun scary.

I went outside. It was scary and outdoors-like. But it was also sort of fun. There were pigeons! After an impromptu invitation from an impromptu friend I was forced politely shoved into having a day out in Sheff…Sheff…Sheffield. I know, right – motherfucking rock and roll *epic guitar solo* Panic kicked in, Fear started lapping …

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Apr 30

Z is for Zeroable

The A-Z challenge is drawing to a close. By now you should be sick of reading letter themed posts, bored to tears with the tenuous connections people make between random words and their intended subject, and fed up to the back teeth of learning new words. You’re probably also not even here, as I’ve been …

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